“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.” – David Deida
Women and the world will constantly test you. This will go on for the rest of your life. Staying grounded means staying present in that which does not change. What is it, that does not change? When you’re very quiet, you connect to it. And when you’re connected to it, is when you are the most masculine.
When you meditate, you seek to become still. You seek to find a place within that is untouched by the chaos of the world. That is what David Deida calls your “masculine”. It’s being in a place of strength and centeredness. I like the analogy that you must be like a mountain and your woman be like the weather.
You will constantly be tested throughout the day with little things and/or big ones. A test is a situation or circumstance that if you’re not careful, will pull you out of your stillness and make you “react”. The ultimate “Superior Man” can be summarized in this quote:
“A Warrior Acts, and The Fool Reacts” – Dan Millman
So practice staying in stillness throughout your day. Learn how to breathe better. Stretch and exercise. Increase your strength. Increase your ability to stay calm and focused. You want to get to the point where you’ll be the eye of the storm no matter how chaotic life may seem.
With that being said, a celebration is a time when you can let go. It means coming out of your stillness to jump and celebrate. It may mean drinking some beers with the buddies. It may mean dancing all night long at the club. A good example of celebration is summarized by this quote:
“People of our time are losing the power of celebration. Instead of celebrating we seek to be amused or entertained. A celebration is an active state, an act of expressing reverence or appreciation. To be entertained is a passive state–it is to receive pleasure afforded by an amusing act or a spectacle….Celebration is a confrontation, giving attention to the transcendent meaning of one’s actions.
― Abraham Joshua Heschel
In summary celebrating isn’t about watching a movie all night long and eating a pack of chips. Celebrating is about enjoying the dance of life. And it’s a way to reward yourself for your actions. You don’t celebrate just because you woke up today. You celebrate after testing yourself and growing.
Finally, when you are at work or dealing with stressful situations, don’t let anything make you come out of your stillness. Find a daily practice to make you still. I recommend breathing and meditation. If you really need to ground yourself better, then I would suggest a prolonged period of solitude. Be by yourself for a day or even a week or more. This will help you connect to your profound still nature. However, when you have been sufficiently tested for that day, don’t hesitate to go out for some cigars and scotch with your buddies. The point is to indulge yourself actively (not passively) in an activity that makes you joyful and ecstatic about life.
Be vigilant for perhaps you will be tested soon, perhaps in the next 10 minutes.
But that’s why we are warriors.