Recently, I attended the 21 Convention. It was an amazing experience and I was glad to be a part of it. In this article, my intention is to share my notes and insights from each speaker.
The 21 Convention is a great place to go for full immersion when it comes to your self-development as man. Check out the 21 Convention here.
On a side note, I didn’t agree with every single thing these speakers said so the following notes and summaries are simply my main take-aways. Eat the fruit, spit out the seeds.
Speaker List (This isn’t in any order)
#1 Jack Donovan
#2 Anthony Dream Johnson & Socrates
#3 Rollo Tomassi
#4 Ivan Throne
#5 Christian McQueen
#6 Tanner Guzy
#7 Alan Roger Currie
#8 Goldmund Unleashed
#9 Johnny Soporno
#11 Rian Stone
#12 Richard Cooper
#13 Drew Baye
#14 Ross Jeffries
#15 Richard Nikoley
#16 Zan Perrion
#17 Hunter Drew
#18 Jim Flanigan
#19 Joe Navarro
#20 George Bruno
Jack Donovan (the following are notes and summaries)
Jack Donovan is the author of The Way of Men, Becoming A Barbarian, A Sky Without Eagles and other works. He specializes in the subject of masculinity and tribalism. Check out his work here.
Note #1: To seek resistance and become better at being a man is a higher path. Pressure needs to come from other men. Masculinity is a muscle. Muscles develop from pressure.
This is pretty straight-forward. But it’s interesting on Donovan’s end to say that “masculinity is a muscle”. This implies that masculinity is something that is developed and maintained. What happens if you stop working out? Entropy… Same with your masculinity. If you stop expressing it, it also entropies and ceases to exist. So therefore, it’s important to continuously refine your masculinity by engaging in activities that bring it out of you such as: martial arts, spending time with other masculine men, challenging yourself, asserting yourself in situations that call for it, taking risks and doing other activities that involve pressure. I can’t imagine a man who lives a life of no pressure whatsoever calling himself masculine. Get off the couch and engage the world.
Note #2: The Noble Equation – Good, Noble, Mighty, Beautiful, Happy, Loved By God. Master morality can complete our idea of being a man.
Jack really went in on Nietzsche during his speech. It seems like he gets a lot of his insights from Nietzsche. And it makes sense. Nietzsche was the founder of the idea of master morality. Jack talks about how Master Morality can complete our idea of being a man. It seems like he equates master morality with nobility and says that men should seek to embody that morality as opposed to slave morality or anti-nobility. Believing in yourself and seeking to develop yourself into someone who is strong, good, noble, beautiful, and happy is a pursuit that involves cutting ties with the weak, mediocre, and sickly. You must cut ties with those who aim to make you more sheepish and passive. Believe in your greatness as a man and rise.
Note #3: Internal values (creation) external values (reaction).
I like this a lot. The noble man AKA the ideal man is someone who creates his own value system. Slaves derive their values externally (usually from other masters). This is powerful because it reminds us to put ourselves as the authority in our lives and come up with our own answers and mental-models. By being your own authority, you embody a worldview and mindset of someone who doesn’t need validation and has a sense of inner-strength. This comes down to one of the main insights that I got from all of the speakers which is: A man does whatever the fuck he wants. He doesn’t compromise. Women may appear to hate him at times but at the end of the day, he will be the one whom they flock to. And other men will respect, admire and fear you. Create your life. Don’t react to it.
Note #4 Brotherhood is something you need to talk about.
In current times, most men shy away from talking about “brotherhood”. They think it’s “gay” or dismiss it as something that should go “unsaid”. The consequence of this behavior is that they never really get a chance to develop true brotherhood with other men. Instead they kind of just hang out together and call each other “bro”, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. In order to develop a strong brotherhood with other men, it needs to be a subject of conversation. Jack Donovan says that this subject needs to be discussed and agreed upon. It’s not enough to just let it go unsaid. Discuss loyalty, tribe, values, brotherhood, discuss it all…And that is how you’ll develop the right structure and framework for an amazing sense of loyalty, tribe, and fraternity with other men.
Anthony Dream Johnson & Socrates Keynote Speech
Anthony is wearing blue shirt and sunglasses. Socrates is wearing brightly colored dress shirt.
Anthony D. Johnson is the founder of the 21 Convention and Socrates is an Alumni speaker who is also the founder of Manningupsmart.com. They gave a speech together and these are the notes:
Note #1: A masculine renaissance is the next enlightenment.
This speech was very significant because in it Anthony & Socrates declared war on feminism. The victory of this war will be a masculine renaissance. The next enlightenment. It’s when men come to their senses and unapologetically take pride in their masculinity again. And with that knowledge, they will shed themselves of the disempowering/feminine conditioning that has been infiltrating their lives from an early age. The next renaissance will be men taking back their power. And with this power, men will do what they always have and then some: Create civilizations, raise strong and powerful children, embody masculine virtues, encourage women to embrace their femininity, and more!
Note #2: The future is masculine.
This is a clever reversal of the words of Hillary Clinton, who famously said that “The future is feminine,” thus overtly declaring her full intent to continue to feminize the globe with social conventions such as feminism and other disempowering/slave-morality ideologies. Anthony said that the future is masculine because it is men who will rise up and take the decisive actions that will save the west…not women. And I definitely believe that to be the case because women are naturally more inclined to prefer socialist policies, allow enemies in through the gates, embrace feminism, and the welfare state.
Rollo and I standing next to each other.
Rollo Tomassi is one of the godfathers of the Manosphere. He wrote several books including the Rational Male series. He is the owner of the popular blog: Therationalmale.com. He was definitely one of the heavy hitters present at the 21 Convention this year. His main topic of writing includes masculinity and the hard-core truth behind male/female sexual strategies. (The Red Pill)
Note #1 We were raised to put the feminine on the pedestal. You have beta qualities in spades so ramp up the alpha all you want. Don’t worry about the beta qualities too much. Chances are that you won’t forget your beta qualities.
We all have Alpha qualities and Beta qualities. But chances are that we’ve conditioned beta qualities and the conditioning is deeper than a whale’s pussy. Beta qualities are ones that are in line with the typical “nice-guy”. One who puts every one else’s needs first but his own, he’s sensitive, spineless, and overly-vulnerable. This allows his women to take charge of the narrative of the relationship and thus impose her will in ways that make him compromise his masculinity. Alpha traits are edgy and appear dangerous to guys with this type of conditioning. These traits include having a strong impenetrable frame, knowing what you want, unapologetically pursuing your mission in life, being your own authority, pursuing self-improvement in ways that develop your masculine core, being the leader and dominant one in the relationship, etc. So go ahead and ramp up your alpha qualities in a relationship because you probably won’t impress anyone, your beta conditioning is probably pretty damn deep. When you overdo alpha, you’ll know it but chances are that that moment is miles ahead.
Note #2 The male imperative = unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. The female imperative = alpha fucks. Beta bucks.
The male sexual imperative is unlimited access to unlimited sexuality. That’s what we’re wired for. The feminine sexual imperative is different and is wired to capitalize on a man with good genes and someone who she’s attracted to (Alpha fucks) and someone who has good long-term provisioning financially and emotionally (beta bucks). Hypergamy is her desire to optimize on that urge to get the best bang for her buck.
Note #3 Men are the true romantics
I personally asked Rollo, why he says that men are the true romantics, not women. And he said that, women love more based on their needs at the moment (aka optimized hypergamy) and men love more from an idealistic point of view. We don’t base it on our hypergamous needs at the moment. All romantic concepts that we’ve heard of come from men. Men believe in love for the sake of love. Next time a woman says that she’s a hopeless romantic, you know it’s bullshit.
Note #4 Feminism is not about making things gender-neutral. That’s just mid-game. It’s about eliminating masculinity in general.
Feminism isn’t about making things equal. It’s about completely destroying masculinity. Feminism is about eradicating all that is masculine from the fabric of society and replacing it with what Nietzsche would call “slave-morality”. That’s why the more feminism takes hold, the more rules and regulations there are on our ability to express ourselves as men. Feminists never celebrate masculine traits and men. They only seek to demonize those traits and replace them. Over my dead body.
Ivan (leftside) and myself on the right.
Ivan Throne is the author of “The 9 Laws”. He is the founder of the Dark Triad Man blog and is very active on the social media war against social justice warriors.
Note #1: Empathy is voluntary. I don’t do pity.
I like this because it’s an empowering mindset. Pity is for the weak. Pity for others and pity for yourself is weakness. If something is wrong then change it. No use in crying over spilt milk! If someone needs your help, you can use empathy to feel them out and then take action in order to help them. But to walk around feeling empathy for people in general can be dangerous. It’s the equivalent of feeling bad for someone as opposed to helping them. Empathy should be a choice and don’t feel empathy for those that don’t deserve it. Being overly-empathetic when it’s not time to do so is similar to being overly sensitive to everyone’s feelings. Derive your state from within and stop leaking your emotional energy so much.
Note #2 Entangle and entwine in contest. Find where the contest resonates with you the most strongly, that’s where you will find purpose.
As a man, you wanna be testing yourself through competition with others or with yourself. Masculinity is muscle as Jack Donovan said, and muscles grow with pressure. Competition and discipline is definitely a good way to develop this muscle of masculinity.
Note #3 Harden, penetrate, release. This feeling of relaxation doesn’t come from your woman’s approval, a compliment, etc, it comes from knowing that you did your best and executed impeccably. You will not have a life of rest but rather many moments of rest.
It’s funny how the male reproductive organs are a good analogy for how masculine energy works. I guess the inner and outer worlds are connected. A man must harden himself to be able to penetrate the world effectively and perform. Then he can release knowing that he had taken impeccable action. A man will always have the burden to perform. That is just the plight of man and who cares? I like the idea of having to be expected to perform. Being a man isn’t easy nor should it be. And I take pride in that. Therefore, you will have moments of rest after you’ve penetrated and taken action but then after a disciplined moment(s) of rest you must go back to hardening, training, and penetrating the world once again.
Note #4: The difference b/w a man and warrior: a man is your nature. It is how you express yourself. A warrior is a choice. Use your nature as man to be a warrior. Being a warrior is your willingness to engage in the world with risk. It’s putting yourself out there. It’s being willing to die. Don’t be worried about death, it’s coming. Fear of Death is no excuse to not be a warrior.
A man and warrior are similar but not exactly the same. To isolate the concept of the warrior and take it a bit further: Being a warrior is being willing to engage the world and the pressure that it holds. Similar to how masculinity is a muscle. Being a warrior is to have a strong degree of that same muscle and use it to go out and engage the world. There are various ways to engage the world but the most common one is: violence. That is the one that is the most primal. Are you willing to engage someone violently if they pose a threat to you or your tribe? If no, what can you do today to become someone who is willing?
Note #5: Now I understand why God is a jealous God. Now I understand what the true meaning of repentance is now I understand the power of the present moment. Now I understand the power of now and why that is so important for being high performance and a vehicle of God.What would it feel like to be a delivery of fate from heaven? The way of heaven is impeccable but your steps on the way are not.
To embody the way of heaven, you must be able to listen to your conscience. Your conscience is the deepest layer of truth within you. It is the truth that you feel when you are fully immersed and present in the moment. Take action from that truth and become impeccable. Being impeccable is equivalent to being a vehicle for the delivery of fate. Being impeccable is the highest form of living and all that a man can really aim for in life. The deepest pleasure for me personally is going to sleep at night knowing that I was impeccable (I took the most self-disciplined and righteous action in line with my values, mission, and purpose).
Note #6 Transcend the crush of male burden. Explosion and release. That’s what we’re built for. Return to the way of performance. When you get laid, and you’re done, is it the last time? When you finish a heavy workout, and you’re done, is it the last time? Immediately subsequent to denouement (look that word up) and impact of fate, you have respite from the burden of performance…for a moment. Then it begins again. Next bedroom frolic. Next workout. Next project. That is the Way for men.
Transcend the idea that all of this effort is a burden. Replace it with the Way of Performance and realizing that you are built to be happiest when you are living life impeccably and living a high-performance self-disciplined lifestyle. Are you a superior and high-performance man constantly in the pursuit of refinement or a slob content with comfort and mediocrity?
Christian McQueen is the founder of the Man In Demand Radio and is also a popular blogger, and dating/success coach. This year he did a talk on entrepreneurship.
Note #1: The easiest way to make money is to buy a business and scale it up a bit and then sell it again.
I think that’s an interesting point. Everyone is in love with this idea of starting a business from scratch, but where are the guys talking about buying a business and just taking it to the next level? This may prove to be a better way of going about things especially if you’re inexperienced and don’t wanna go through the struggle of building a business from the ground up. Plus, it’s probably pretty easy to just modify some things in an existing business and make it better, especially if the previous owner wasn’t very savy or interested in continuously adapting and making the business better.
Note 2: You need to spend less time with your girlfriend more with your business! If you love Netflix and chilling all weekend then you won’t be able to truly start a real business!
Good point! I remember all of the weekends I spent “Netflix and Chilling”, as Christian says. I mean I don’t regret those times but that’s because I don’t regret anything. To be honest, right now if you’re a young guy building his first business, you’re at a stage of your life where you want to be as focused as possible. Having a girlfriend that is demanding of your time can definitely be an obstacle, especially if you’re a beta and can’t handle that shit by telling her to, “Shut the fuck up” and let you focus (say it more elegantly than that though).
Note #3: You can have multiple businesses but all it takes is one home run.
As an entrepreneur, chances are that your first few businesses will not succeed in making you massive amounts of cash right away. But that’s all good because as an entrepreneur, your job is to continuously experiment until you find that one home run baby! Don’t get discouraged and have faith that as long as you keep hustling, you’ll succeed.
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Tanner Guzy is the founder of masculine-style.com. He is an expert when it comes to men’s style and the philosophy behind it. He has been a speaker at the 21 Convention before.
Note #1: Mediocrity is the enemy when it comes to appearance. You shouldn’t aim to be comfortable as a priority when it comes to your style. You will never be better than average. Men have never been defined by comfortable.
A lot of guys seem to prioritize being comfortable when it comes to style. This results in them dressing in stuff that “feels good” but “looks mediocre. Clothing is communication and if your main priority is to look comfortable then that says something about you. Aim to make your clothes tell a story about the kind of man you are. Aim to command respect with your clothing.
Note #2 Fashion is determined by other people. By some gay designer in NYC. Men have no business caring about fashion. What we’re after is STYLE – being able to take who you are internally and tell that story to the rest of the world through your appearance.
This is GOLD Tanner. Don’t make the mistake of trying to be “trendy”. Fuck trendy. Fuck looking fashionable. What you’re after is representing who you are on the inside through your appearance. Understand that your appearance counts and INVEST in it, refine it, and express it. Remember, people judge you from the outside. Also, if all you’re trying to do is look trendy, I’m sorry but you’re a fag. Dress like your ideal man, not some template put together by whoever happens to be the chief designer at Diesel.
Note #3: There are 6 things to factor in when it comes to style: body, archetype, tribe, taste, location, and effort.
Body is determining what works and what doesn’t based on your skin tone, build, and unique features. Archetype is whether you fit into the more rugged type, rakish (rebellious), or refined style. Archetype has a lot to do with how you express yourself in the world as a man. Tribe is a factor when it comes to style because your style should aim to represent the mission of your tribe. Taste is a factor as well because you also have a unique story about who you are. You don’t want to dress exactly like your tribe. Location is key because just like your language and tone change when you walk into a bar VS a library, so does your style. And finally, effort is your degree of willingness to put in the effort to actually dress well. So what is your degree?
Alan Roger Currie
Alan Roger Currie is well known throughout the dating-coach community and is also the author of the Mode One book series. He specializes in direct-game.
Note #1: Alpha moment: the ultimate shit test: women will test you to see if you’re really alpha or a beta in disguise. Do not stutter and do not back down. Be a fucking man.
I really like his attitude towards being “shit-tested” by women. He emphasizes that a man needs to have a strong backbone. I totally agree. If you want to be the kind of man that does whatever the fuck he wants, positively-dominates his woman, and truly sets the tone and frame of the relationship then you’re gonna get shit-tested. So be ready for that moment. Don’t stutter, don’t back-down, and NEVER compromise your values and freedom just because a woman said so. Have a steel backbone. Grab your balls and own your masculinity.
Note #2: On being direct: you’re letting a woman know she will NOT waste your time. That is a reason to be direct. If you allow women, they will waste your fucking time and money.
I don’t necessarily think that the only effective way to seduce a woman is to be direct and upfront the second you meet her. However, it is definitely a useful tool in your arsenal as a man and one that you should use most of the time. Here’s why: Women will play around with your time and money if you’re not careful. By being direct and stating exactly what you’re looking to do without any confusion, you’re giving the woman no leeway to play games. Being direct cuts through the bullshit. I guess that’s why it’s called being direct.
Note #3 I asked Alan if “being alpha meant getting what you want out of a situation” and he said that: Not only is being alpha getting the outcome you want, it’s also having a clear set of boundaries and an impenetrable spine and frame.
This vibes with my first note but it’s worth mentioning again. Being alpha is sticking up for whatever the fuck you want in life. Women are drawn to and love men with unbreakable frames even though they can talk until they’re blue in the face about hey they love nice, vulnerable, emotional, and weak men. Deeds are more powerful than words. But you need to have a strong-spine because women will challenge you…”Are you really alpha?”, they will wonder as they seek ways to poke at you and find any hint that you’re just a beta in disguise. Being alpha is also having a clear set of boundaries. Don’t tolerate anything that isn’t in line with your values. State your boundaries, be clear, and make sure she respects that.
Goldmund Unleashed is the founder of Goldmund Unleashed blog (which is now a protected site for some reason) and is an author and dating coach. He is known for his travels across the world and stories about seducing women. He also fabricates jewelry. Anthony Dream Johnson calls him the “Indiana Jones of the Red-pill” . He is also one of the first guys to interview Rollo Tomassi face to face.
Note #1: Game is display of worth (SMV) to women. As a man you need to be a challenge to these girls. Tease them and poke fun. I’m the prize. Remember that.
Men judge women in different ways than women judge men. Women judge men based on their level of game, physique, resources, social status, etc. By teasing her and seeing yourself as the prize, you’re subtly communicating “You’re not my priority, I live an amazing life because I got it going on, do you wanna be a part of it or no…if you don’t I don’t care…I live in abundance.” That is sexy compared to some needy supplicating guy who is anal and lives in a paradigm of scarcity.
Note #2 Keep the convos fun. Not politics and philosophy.
A popular song is “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, says Goldmund. There’s a reason for that. Save the serious shit for your buddies because if you’re out with a girl, chances are that getting into politics and philosophy will kill the vibe. Plus, in my experience most girls aren’t ideal candidates for that type of talk, because most of them get emotional and triggered when you say something that doesn’t fit in their comfy worldview. Do you wanna seduce women or not? Then, save that shit for when you really get to know her or risk messing up the interaction.
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Johnny Soporno is a dating, seduction, and polyamory expert. He has been in the seduction and porn industry for a long time. He is known for bedding thousands of women and is in the process of coming out with his first book.
Note #1 What a woman finds attractive is trivial. You need to be interesting, compelling, and arousing. That’s more important. Women can easily reimagine you into someone they find arousing.
Johnny Soporno is not the most good looking guy. Yet his results with women are pretty amazing. I will definitely say that he’s an interesting, eloquent and charismatic guy. When he talks, people tend to listen. His personality coupled with his in-depth understanding of what arouses women gives him the ability to cut through a woman’s desire for a physically enticing man. It’s interesting to note the fact that if you learn the correct skills, you can seduce women and make them go bananas for you without having to look like Brad Pitt. Men aren’t meant to look pretty anyway. That’s more for women to worry about. Game is the priority.
Note #2 Women have been evolved to sense what a man feels about himself. She will follow your lead and think that you’re not good enough for her.
Donald Trump once said something along the lines of: “People take their cues on how to treat you from how you treat yourself”. And I think that this is especially the case when it comes to women. What’s interesting here is that; Soporno says that women have literally evolved to sense what a man feels about himself. This makes sense because if a woman can tune in and observe what a man feels about himself, she can determine if he is truly alpha, confident, capable, happy, and has an abundance of options or not. If a man is insecure, needy, hates himself, etc…then he probably won’t have much value to offer to her whether in terms of intimacy, adventure, or emotional investment. Since women look up to men, they need someone who is worth looking up to. And if you don’t even look up to yourself, why should she?
Note #3 Women don’t know how to say NO. They feel like their job is to keep people happy which means telling them what to hear. That’s why women are so flaky.
This is a good point because it clarifies some of the mystery behind womens’ flakiness. Women are often taught to “please daddy” and “be nice”. This is a good thing since no man wants an overly-assertive and opinionated woman. However, this puts women in a psychological position where it’s tough for them to say “No” and just be direct. So if a woman flakes, it’s just another way of saying that she’s just not into you or you’re not her priority. Don’t take it personally. Just treat it like the covert means of communication it actually is.
Hypnotica AKA Rasputin
Hypnotica is a famous dating-coach and was even mentioned in the book “The Game” under the nickname of Rasputin. He currently teaches seduction, relationships, and self-improvement and owns strip-clubs across Las Vegas if I’m not mistaken.
Note #1: A man should create his reality to be 100% his own. Everything should be deliberate…100% of it. A man’s purpose in life is to successfully navigate his reality.
YES! This is a very powerful paradigm to ground yourself in as a man. And to be honest, this is the main lesson that I’m subtly hearing from all of the speakers: A man lives live powerfully and on his own terms. Everything should be deliberate. A man doesn’t react to life but creates it. This ties in with what Jack Donovan was saying about Nobility Vs. Anti-Nobility. A man is proactive and a creative force in his life. Save mediocrity, reactiveness, and going with the flow for the masses.
Note #2: Every moment is just as powerful as any other moment. Every decision that you make forms a neural pathway.
Wow, I think Hypnotica definitely lands in my top 3 preferred speakers. Imagine that…every decision you make forms a neural pathway. It’s true. Everything is conditioning and your brain is constantly wiring and recycling neural pathways. Watch every second even when you rest because each second holds the power of the universe in it. Each second holds in it the seed to rewire your mind. Each neural pathway facilitates the behavior that it was wired to facilitate. Destiny is the result of your choices. Will you choose self-discipline and impeccability or will you choose the “easy-path” and self-sabotage?
Note #3: Everything is about data. Curiosity is the key. Get more enriching data and experience. Build better maps of reality.
Enriching yourself with more knowledge and experience helps you create more effective maps of reality. The more effective your map of reality, the more effective you will be at achieving your desired outcomes in life. Curiosity will lead you take action and learn more, which is key since that will funnel more knowledge and data into your life. So stay child-like, and don’t for a second think you’ve got it all figured out. Keep that “white-belt” mentality. Constantly be refining your models of reality. There are always hire levels to be attained in everything you do. This is true for your models of reality when it comes to communication, self-improvement, masculinity, entrepreneurship, dating, leadership, combat, etc.
Note #4: Be more exciting. Live a powerful lifestyle.
Don’t be boring. Do you want to isolate yourself in your room your whole life? Push yourself to live a more exciting life-style. This is key especially if you want to attract higher quality women into your life. Why should a woman choose your boring ass (sorry if this doesn’t apply to you) instead of a guy that lives a lifestyle with some adventure, energy, fun, and danger in it? Now, I don’t think he’s suggesting that we all join biker gangs, but I think what he’s saying is that your lifestyle plays a role in your ability to attract amazing women into your life. Remember what Goldmund said…”Girls just wanna have fun”. Is your lifestyle going to be a source of fun for her?
Rian Stone is quite active in the redpill community and is popular on Twitter. He writes articles on his personal blog. He was also in the Navy and is gaining more and more popularity in the manosphere for his content.
Note #1: Stop seeking approval by telling your girl about self-improvement. You’re just seeking her validation. Stop doing it. Stop defending everything you do and justifying. Just own it.
This is something a lot of guys definitely need to understand. Women aren’t supposed to be your gurus or your leaders (that’s not to say that you can’t gain insights from women). You don’t look up to women. Your job as a man is to develop your self, and NOT give a FUCK about what your woman thinks about it. If you’re seeking validation from your woman when it comes to your self-development as an ideal man, you’re doing it wrong. Most women don’t have the capacity to truly understand what you’re practice, purpose, and vision is all about. If you’re gonna seek approval, seek it from like minded, strong, wise, masculine, and experienced men whom you respect…not from your woman. She should be seeking YOUR approval. That is a more feminine role for her to embody. She may say otherwise but she’ll nag, nag, nag and then fuck your brains out.
Note #2: Your time is valuable. You only give it to someone who gives value for it. Remove your time and attention based on the value you receive. This applies to women. And men too I assume. To get people to value your attention, these are your 3 tools: Affection, attention, and comfort.
Let’s face it, there were times where someone didn’t value your attention. It may have been because you had given them your attention too much, too soon. Not everyone has a heart of gold and the emotional intelligence of an award-winning therapist. You must therefore learn how to strategically withdraw affection, attention, and comfort from people who aren’t valuing your attention. Don’t be overly generous with your affection, attention, and comfort if someone clearly doesn’t deserve it. Your time is valuable, be stingy with it. Learn to say “no” more.
Note #3: Truth vs utility. Men are built for utility not truth.
I’m not sure I understand this completely, but I think I know what Rian was suggesting. What is truth? Is it the Bible? Is it something that we need some expert to validate? Is it whatever scientific theory comes out next? We can sit here all day and try to figure everything out or we can just find what works for us. If you know what you want and you’ve found a way to get it, that’s all that matters. I value truth and God knows that I try to obtain it as much as I can, but at the end of the day, I value achieving my desired outcomes in life more than I value obtaining “the truth” of something. At the end of the day, we may only get glimpses of the truth…not the whole thing. As men we are built to create and build, not just sit there and ponder what truth is. Above all be effective.
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Smoking a cigar with Richard (bottom left corner)
Richard Cooper is the founder of Entrepreneurs In Cars (a popular Youtube channel). He is known for coming out with videos about red-pill, relationships, entrepreneurship, and self-development. I actually interviewed him on my Youtube Channel.
Note #1 If you value your fucks you’re only going to allocate your fucks to things that are fuck worthy. If you don’t then you’re gonna waste your time.
The above quote is what Richard Cooper told me after I asked him how to deal with anxiety, and being overly anal about everything. And it makes sense. You need to value your fucks. Your fucks burn energy. Your fucks consist of time, energy, resources, emotional energy, and more. Don’t give them out for things that aren’t fuck-worthy. Save your fucks for things that REALLY matter. And even then, ask yourself if it’s worth it.
Note #2 Avoid relationships with: Dangerous personalities, Playing captain save a hoe, Daddy issues, Broke, Birth order conflicts, Drug/alcohol dependency, Controlling/jealous, and Single mothers.
In order to truly live a badass, optimized, and fun life as a man, you need to vet the people in your life. You can’t just allow anybody in. This is especially true when it comes to the women in your life. So vet the women and avoid all of the ones mentioned above. Pretty straightforward.
Drew Baye is an expert when it comes to high-intensity Interval Training and a fitness philosopher. He is also a returning speaker.
Note #1: On muscle confusion: You go through skill acquisition periods when you start a workout routine. You want to be consistent with your workouts.
In the fitness community, there’s a lot of talk on the virtues of muscle-confusion. However, something I didn’t know is that your body actually needs time to adapt and condition itself to perform routines optimally. Thus, constantly switching workout routines isn’t smart since you’re not giving your body ample time to adapt, and become skilled at the movement. Therefore, stick to your routine until you reap a good deal of results from it.
Note #2 Your body will respond to anything that is a threat to its ability to move. Your body will only do this if it’s absolutely necessary. If it’s something that doesn’t cause enough stress, than your body will want to be efficient and thus will not improve.
Don’t go to the gym and just do a few pushups and expect massive improvements. You need to give your body the impression that is has no other choice but to adapt. Therefore, train with INTENSITY. If you want to see results, challenge yourself.
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Ross Jeffries is an old-school pickup and dating coach. He was also mentioned in the book The Game. His teachings blend NLP, hypnosis, and other facets of psychology.
Note #1: Don’t look for performance confidence before you do the performance. Don’t look for certainty in pleases where you have never performed. You will never have performance or confidence. It leads to a learning strategy where there are 1,000 points of rumination before one point of action.
This was an extremely powerful insight for me. A bad habit is to over-analyzing everything and then taking little-to-no action . Robert Greene says that, you should aim to make small experiments with all of the bits of knowledge that you learn. We live in an age of infobesity. Confidence comes from competence. How are you gonna have confidence if you’ve never put in the reps, whether that’s in dating, fitness, or business? Stop worrying about your lack of confidence. Instead advance with faith and certainty, that if you continue to experiment and take action, and learn from your mistakes, you will eventually reach your desired outcomes.
Note #2 A good question to ask is: “how can I get a woman to visualize, think and feel the right type of state to where she links the right type of state to me?”
If you’re in the process of seduction, a good tool in your tool-belt is to start asking a woman the right questions and putting her in the right state of mind to link feelings of sexual desire to you. How do you do that? It’s an art. But I have a feeling, controlling her focus through the right type of questions and tonality is one of the keys. This isn’t manipulation. This is the art of communication and seduction. A woman seduces men based on her physical appeal primarily, but a man seduces women based on his ability to get into her mind.
Richard Nikoley is the founder of the popular blog: Free the Animal. It contains over 4,000 posts and 100,000 comments from readers. He covers a lot of ground, blogging about, health, diet, and lifestyle to philosophy, politics, and social issues. However, during this year’s convention, he gave a speech about Bitcoin.
Note #1: They predicted that Bitcoin would fail 177 times. When you see the “experts” talking, then do the opposite.
I’m not into the whole Bitcoin thing just yet, as I am just starting to understand investing and the such however, it’s worth noting that the “experts” aren’t always right. This seems to be the case in many fields. I guess I won’t pay attention to the mainstream experts of the finance/investing industry. I even heard Chase bank was downplaying Bitcoin and at the same time investing heavily in it.
Zan Perrion is an interesting character. He is extremely well known in the dating community and does talks all over the world. His rap sheet is pretty impressive and can be found here.
Note #1 The Information Age has run its course. It’s overwhelmed with misinformation. We want embodiment. No more information.
This reminds me of what Ross Jeffries said about how it is a faulty way to think when you need 1,000 points of ruminations for every point of action. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you need to devise systems and strategies in life. How else can an entrepreneur run a business without needing to be there? Leverage is important. However, information is just useless data unless it’s applied. Don’t seek to just fill your mind with useless data unless you’re going to apply it. Once again, seek to create little experiments with the data that you absorb.
Note #2 Hugh Hefner said, that there were times in his life that he reinvented himself. Zan believes we should reinvent ourselves every decade or so. Every aspect of our lives.
This reminds me of what David Deida says, when he suggests that men should go into formal periods of solitude every once in awhile. There is something powerful about going into solitude and reinventing yourself. Away from the distractions of the world and alone with an accumulated bank of insights, experiences, data, visions, and purpose, solitude allows you to be the architect of your life and redesign it in a way that is more congruent with your vision and purpose. This is a very proactive way to live. I love it.
Note #3 Every generation in history had abused childhoods. Today we are the only generation that uses that as a victim, crutch and excuse. We dwell on it way too much compared to other generations. Those people from our childhood can’t touch us anymore. We need to move on with the past.
This is true. Abuse has been rampant throughout history, but we are the only generation to waste so much time and energy dwelling on it. The worst part is that the more time you focus on the past, the more you’ll condition the narrative of self-pity and weakness into your life. Invest your energy into developing yourself into who you want to become and enjoy the journey doing so.
Hunter Drew is the founder of The Family Alpha blog for men in relationships. He has been married ever since he was a young man and therefore embraces a different path than most red-pill aware men. He takes pride in being married and raising a family while applying red-pill strategies/tactics in order to enrich his marriage.
Note #1 Hunter doesn’t identify as a father, brother or husband. He identifies as first and foremost a man.
This is powerful because if you identify yourself as first and foremost a man, the rest kind of just takes care of itself. From identifying as a man, you can effectively navigate the responsibilities and realities of being a brother, father, and husband. But if you identify yourself as the latter first, you risk getting into trouble by prioritizing things that don’t coincide with being a man.
Note #2 Reality comes from frame. Until you start living and being your own authority, you won’t be the ideal man. What do you gain by repressing yourself?
Be a fucking man!!! She will nag, nag, nag and then fuck your brains out.
This coincides with what Alan Roger Currie was saying about having a “steel backbone.” You can’t rely on your woman’s approval for making decisions on how to behave in life. You must be the one to set the tone and frame of the relationship, or she will. Be a fucking man. You won’t have a good life if you repress yourself in order to please your woman. She doesn’t want to be pleased. She just wants a fucking man. And guess what…she’ll nag you all the way until she realizes that you’re frame is impenetrable and then she’ll fuck your brains out. Stay like a mountain. Whatever you do, don’t give in. Stay strong.
Jim Flanigan is a beast of a man. He is well over 6 feet tall and looks strong and vital for a man in his 70’s. For many years, Jim worked with the infamous Arthur Jones, a controversial (badass) figure who invented the concept of HIIT training and founded Nautilus training equipment.
Note #1: It’s harder to squat heavy weight if you have long-legs.
I didn’t know this before and this explains my sometimes painfully slow progress when it comes to squatting heavy weight. I used to be bewildered at the fact that my short friends squatted such heavy weight, and so quickly! Flanigan went on to explain how he went through the same thing and that it’s because there is more range of motion and the such required, the taller your legs are. This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop squatting. Quite the contrary. I just won’t feel frustrated at my slow progress anymore.
Note #2 If you’re spending more than 45 min in the gym you’re wasting your time. Your workout should be hard, brief and infrequent. Same as wild animals.
Working out doesn’t have to be this long and arduous process that you need to dedicate insane amounts of time to. If you workout smart, you can gain loads of muscle.
Note #3 When in doubt, move slowly. Never move briskly when dealing with heavy loads.
This is good advice concerning safety. Moving heavy weight is a safety-hazard and can also cause some wear and tear on your joints. Make sure to focus on proper technique above the egotistical pursuit of lifting more at all costs. And don’t move too quickly when in doubt. Solid.
Joe Navarro has a pretty impressive rap sheet, check it out here. But basically, he’s an Ex-FBI agent who specializes in nonverbal communication. He helped the FBI with counter-terrorism and detecting foreign spies. Not bad.
Note #1 Joe Novarro says to communicate effectively with other men: angle off and don’t face them up front bc that creates tension.
I personally asked him his advice on communicating with other men and that’s what he told me. I guess some people think that you need to be face-to-face and maintain strict eye-contact throughout an entire conversation, but that definitely does create a lot of tension. Men are biologically pumped with testosterone and are thus more prone to fight whether verbally or physically. It’s just in our genes. But instead of building tension with other men, angle off to the side and thus have smoother and more effective conversations. That way the focus is less on who’s dominating who, but rather on getting to the heart of the matter.
Note #2 To diffuse someone’s frame keep distance and angle off as well bc that diffuses their dominant frame.
When people try to dominate you in a conversation or if you’re being confronted by someone, a good way to diffuse their attempted power-grab is to simply angle-off. Walk away, create some distance, look away, and don’t give into their display of aggression by leaning in and standing at attention.
Note #3: Putting your thumbs in your pockets is a sign of weakness. And crossing your arms is NOT a sign of rejection but rather a “self-hug”.
There is a common misconception in the body-language world, that if someone crosses their arms, it’s a sign of rejection or dislike. The truth is that crossing your arms is a self-hug/self-pacifying act. So stop being a bitch and crossing your arms all the time. Oh and if you’re gonna put your hands in your pockets, put the whole hand in.
Note #4 Brevity is power. Keep things short and your words will be more memorable. Scarcity is once again valued.
Some people just talk too much. The result? People don’t value what they’re saying. Use brevity to your advantage and people will value what you have to say more. I bet they’ll start listening in and shutting the fuck up themselves.
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George Bruno also known as the Sultan of Silver is an expert when it comes to masculine facial structure, hair ,and beard care.
Note #1 Good haircuts aren’t cheap and cheap haircuts aren’t good. You don’t owe it to yourself to take a day off when it comes to looking good.
This is similar to the mindset of Tanner Guzy, when he says that a man shouldn’t prioritize comfort when it comes to style. I agree. Once again, just like style, grooming is important too. Style and attention to detail is all communication. Spend the extra $20 and get a good haircut, stop going over to Carlos over at the “papi-shop” and getting a crappy job done. Dress and groom like your ideal man, day in and day out.
Note #2 Never get the type of haircut where you are locked into only one look. Have 2 or 3 different styles.
Good tip. Some people get haircuts and always stick to one style. No matter where they go, they have the exact same hair-style. Make sure to ask your barber to give you 2-3 styling ideas for your haircut and don’t let him lock you into one. I personally have styles ranging from the more “combed-back” Don Draper style to a more rakish spiky style.
Note #3 Don’t wait until you start making millions before you start carrying yourself like you make millions.
Dress and act like the ideal man you want to become. It helps. Others will take that into account and opportunities tend to come your way quicker.