Growing up in a single-mother household is not ideal for any man. Especially, when the mother is working 24/7 and you’re being raised by babysitters. We live in a weird world. This was my experience and it has proved to leave me handicapped in many ways especially socially. But taking Spartan Ownership means taking responsibility and making good with what you got…
Those of us that were raised by women often end up soft and approval seeking. This trend is on the rise because now there are more single moms than ever. The extremely high rate of divorce as well as the welfare state both incentivize women to be single. Hence, our western culture is on the verge of collapse. Men must become weaponized and masculine once again. The way nature intended it to be.
In order to put an end to some of your approval seeking & overly nice behavior, there are a few things you can do… I’m still doing research on this subject so expect more to come but as of now these are 3 definite ways that will help you:
The more disciplined you are and keep commitments to yourself, the more your self-worth goes up. The more self-worth you have, the less you seek approval. Being secure in yourself and feeling in control of your destiny through self-discipline will give you more energy and momentum to assert yourself. When you feel empowered and you love yourself, you are more likely to assert yourself.
This is related to self-discipline but it’s worth mentioning. The reason why training helps you become more assertive and less approval seeking is because training makes you stronger and tougher. And more specifically training in this case means martial arts, body-building, mind-set training, etc… When you are disempowered due to your approval seeking needy behavior, throw yourself into the gym or the dojo and work towards growth. Not only will you feel more empowered and thus more assertive but you’ll be getting stronger instead of coping with the depression that follows the realization that you just seeked approval again…
Know Your Purpose & Values
The more grounded you become in your purpose, the less needy and approval seeking you become. When you have a purpose, your presence takes on a certain gravity. You are no longer a tumble-weed but an arrow. It’s way easier to assert yourself and feel secure because now you know you’re on the right path.
These are the 3 ways I know of right now that definitely work. This subject deserves more of my attention so I will dive into it deeper in future articles and videos. Staying aware is very key. Being aware of yourself in the act of being overly nice and approval seeking will cause you to unravel some of the damage.
The reversal of this is that there is a certain benefit to having been raised by women. Emotional Intelligence. Being able to see things with reason and empathy. Not to say that women are always very capable of reasoning without emotions. Rather women are more sensitive to you and see you with a higher degree of empathy. This is useful in some situations especially when it comes to relating to people emotionally.
If you are a man, you must learn the language of men. Ideally, you should be able to see things empathetically when the situation calls for it. Otherwise, as a man approval seeking and over-empathetic behavior just isn’t useful and will result in a lot of pain. When men are masculine and going about their day, they are often insensitive and rightfully so. They need to be strong in a world like ours. The world isn’t sensitive to your needs and doesn’t revolve around you. The world can be ruthless. Let’s bring warrior culture and masculinity back and glorify it so that we stay strong. Otherwise, you will submit to other men who do take this kind of stuff seriously…