Praise for David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man
The Way of the Superior Man is definitely in my Top 5 when it comes to books.
Over the years, I have read many books on self-improvement, meditation, Buddhism, Taoism, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, etc.
Throughout my journey of self-mastery, I have had several periods of deep confusion…
Confusion as to the application and integration of all these ideas in a way that would allow me to live life in a way that was clear and focused.
I still struggle with this at times as there are still many paradoxes and contradictions to be addressed. There are still many conflicting points between eastern and western philosophy which is why I have come out with a lot of content related to “Tao and ambition“.
But something I realized while studying a lot of Deida’s work is that he faced the same struggle…He studied all the eastern stuff and the western stuff. But the difference is that he came out a victor and merged the two in a very eloquent, functional, and masterful way…
And this merging can be found in his work, The Way of the Superior Man.
A lot of people who get into Taoism, Buddhism, and other Eastern philosophies may start to develop negative beliefs about ambition, wealth, structure, business, and other aspects of our modern day western culture.
On the other hand, people who are too deep in western culture may get overly caught up in materialism, achievement, the so-called pursuit of happiness, addiction to instant-gratification, the undisciplined accumulation of wealth, and other superficial but highly glamorized pursuits. These people dismiss many of the eastern lessons on life as new-age mumbo-jumbo and thus never get to the depth of what the East has to teach us.
A lot of people look to David Deida’s books for advice on women but I think that Deida has a lot more to offer especially in regards to the functional union of eastern and western ideas.
The path to understanding can be hard and long. There are always higher levels of consciousness to be reached. Thus the path can be quite a struggle especially for those of us that are impatient!
However, David Deida has done the thinking and he has done the struggling. His work answers some very fundamental questions that those of us on the path can use to save time and energy. In other words, his work helps those of us that are a bit confused allowing us to accelerate our growth and focus on other areas of knowledge.
Whenever I’m in doubt, I know I can go back to the book and ground myself.
13 lessons I learned from the Way of the Superior Man
#1 Find your purpose in silence, solitude and in the company of your tribe
When you stop distracting yourself are and you silence the world of matter and monkey-mind chatter, something interesting occurs. You start to hear the little voice some refer to as your conscience. When in silence, the ideal question to ask yourself is “What is my deepest purpose?” You will get an answer if you listen closely enough. Often times the answer will be unclear and ambiguous, that’s Ok. It will, however, give you the next step. Sometimes it will be loud and clear. It depends. That’s the beauty, that’s the mystery.
When your mind is overly caught up with internal chatter and external BS then you will be sucked into agendas that have nothing to do with your deepest purpose.
The same goes for the men you have in your life. Are they strong and living life in accordance with their deepest purpose? Are they beginners like you? Or are they men who have decided to stay in a rut of mediocrity? As you increase the quality of men you have in your life, make it a habit to get together with them every week or so in order to reinforce strong values in one another. These values may include being more disciplined, taking care of your health more seriously, asking for a promotion, being more assertive, etc.
#2 What it means to be impeccable
I wrote a poem recently and it goes:
“Being Impeccable means being self-disciplined,
Being self-disciplined means being a disciple to your deepest self,
Being a disciple of your deepest self means being a disciple of God,
Being a disciple of God means being present to this moment here and now,
Being present to this moment here and now means to silence the monkey-mind,
When you silence the monkey-mind you hear the voice of your conscience,
When you listen to your conscience, you take impeccable and divine action,
You will make mistakes, you will learn, course-correct, and grow.
Such is the way of the superior man.”
Impeccability is what I believe to be the highest form of happiness for a man.
It’s when you are living in accordance with your deepest truth. It’s a lifestyle that involves disciplining your time, energy, and focus in such a way that everything aligns with your deepest truth. When you live your life this way, you develop a natural high. This is what it means to be high on life. This high is greater than any superficial high that a drug can give you. This high resonates to the very depth of your soul. And when you’re that connected to your soul, you can’t help but feel high. It’s just one of the qualities of spiritual depth.
To the degree that you are impeccable, you will experience fulfillment, energy, and growth. To the degree that you ignore your deepest purpose and conscience, you will experience frustration and disease (mental and physical) as you will be full of sorrow and lack vitality/energy.
#3 Build your life in alignment with source
This means living impeccably but it’s a bit more specific.
It means that as you build your life and pursue success whether physical, financial, sexual, professional, etc, you do so from a place that’s aligned with source. Source is just another word for God. And you can feel aligned with God when you silence the mind and become aware of the silent observer within you.
So, in essence, this step simply means to make sure you connect to source regularly thus refreshing your relationship to it. The more you connect to it and take action from source, the more harmoniously you will build your life. Trust your gut and use your intuition to navigate the world we live in today which is so filled with information. Use your mind but don’t get too caught up in mental fluctuations/ambiguity. Nurture your relationship to the present moment. If you could maintain that kind of focus and build your life around it, you will experience profound gifts. Stay in your head though and you’re dead.
#4 Polarity is the essence of the relationship you have with your woman
Polarity is the term used to describe the interaction between magnetic fields. It’s what causes magnetic fields to come together or move-apart. One polarity is masculine and the other polarity is feminine. The more that you emphasize your masculine polarity during moments of intimacy and the more she does the opposite, the more polarity your relationship will have resulting in a more man-to-woman style relationship that is truly sexy, alive, and passionate leaving both of your cores fulfilled.
We live in a feminized culture where most men have had the masculinity sucked dry from them and are now walking shells of what they could have been. Don’t let that be you. Develop your masculine energy and encourage ways for her to develop her feminine side.
#5 What is masculine energy?
Traits of masculine energy include but are not limited to anything that has to do with breaking through barriers, challenge, test, hardship, struggle, killing, overcoming, building, consciousness, meditativeness, coolness under pressure, alertness, awareness, vision, purpose, leadership, guidance, and focus.
When you’re focused on your mission, you ARE in your masculine zone.
When you’re focused on enjoying the pleasures of life, you ARE in your feminine zone.
Most men spend way too much time in their feminine and although superficially they may enjoy themselves, their core isn’t truly fulfilled. A masculine man gains fulfillment from having a mission bigger than himself. When he lives his life and prioritizes that mission above all, he lives powerfully, impeccably, and women can’t help but admire him.
#6 What is feminine energy?
On the reverse side of things, feminine energy is all about the flow of love in the moment.
It’s about doing what you feel, singing, dancing, relaxing, drinking, enjoying, rejuvenating, etc.
It’s not necessarily coming from a place deeply grounded in purpose but rather feminine energy emanates from a desire to feel and be love in the moment resulting in a happy, playful, openness of mood. It’s light…it’s energy…it’s what turns the masculine on and makes us relax and lighten up.
Masculine energy serves as the canvas and feminine energy serves as the paint. The feminine is what paints the canvas and gives it it’s curves and complexity. Masculine energy is the strong foundation…the structure that keeps the building in place while feminine energy is the decorations and the beautiful architecture that sparks inspiration and awe in all of those who look at it.
Feminine energy is what adds joy to a man’s life…a place where a man can relax and feel at ease. But feminine energy can be quite chaotic and challenge you at times but it does so naturally only to test your masculine strength (more about this in lesson #12 on shit-tests).
What are you waiting for? Buy the book and get to work!
#7 Your woman is responsible for the flow of sexual energy and love in the relationship
Another way to put it is that your woman is responsible for your erection (haha). In essence, she’s responsible for the sexual flow, intimacy, and energy of the relationship.
A woman should make sure she is doing everything she can to enhance her radiance, sexiness, grace, and joy. This is what inspires a man and gives him the desire to penetrate her and the world.
A man is responsible for opening his woman: leading the direction of growth and opening her to a higher depth of love and openness of mood.
#8 A man is responsible for her openness in mood
A man is responsible for leading the direction of growth and opening his woman to a higher depth of love and openness of mood.
Since women prioritize their relationship much more than men, they tend to think about and ponder it a lot more. How could they not? Their deepest core is fulfilled by the flow of love and you are her single most powerful source of loving.
So if things are not going well between you two then she will not be as radiant, joyful, and happy as she could be. You are in charge of being the man that she fantasizes about by being dominant, impeccable, and ravishing her emotionally and physically ensuring that she remain joyful and feminine.
#9 Your woman is NOT your priority
She wants to feel like a compliment to your lifestyle, not the focus of it.
Can you imagine a woman alone in bed at night fantasizing?
Who is she fantasizing about?
A man who obsessed with her all day long to the point that his mission doesn’t even matter?
Or is she more turned on by the man who has a powerful mission in life…a go-getter…a man living powerfully and on his own terms…a man who although he’s turned on by the woman in question, knows that he has a deeper purpose…
The latter of course! Her priority is the flow of love, your priority is your mission.
Polarity is what causes sexual attraction, therefore, being overly focused on her is not masculine!
Only a bitch-boy is obsessed about his woman…ever wonder why women like jerks? They’re selfish and focus on their own shit. They’re not needy and approval-seeking like the typical nice guy. A trait that is rather cute in a woman as it emphasizes attachment and submission. Not cute at all in a guy though.
#10 She wants to feel your inner monster
Have you integrated your dark side into your personality? Is your aggression something you’re in touch with? Do you know how to turn on your killer instinct if need be? Are you trained in hand-to-hand combat? Are you strong and willing to neutralize threats to yourself or loved ones?
If not, what the fuck are you waiting for!?
“Police are only minutes away when seconds count”, as it’s been said.
Go and join an MMA dojo, buy a firearm, lift-weights, challenge your fears, and express your darkness in controlled and ritualistic ways.
If you don’t develop your killer instinct, you will forever be at mercy of those who have theirs down packed…Furthermore, you will have one of those little boy faces that shows no hint of danger.
You’ll be an easy target. No woman wants that.
She wants strength and controlled aggression in her man.
That’s how we survived as a species.
#11 Seamen retention, no-fap, and quitting masturbation
Most men are addicted to cycles of mental-fantasy, pressure, and release. This is a trait of an all too common man. In Spartan Ownership, we train to be uncommon amongst the uncommon.
Do you watch porn? Stop it.
Do you masturbate too much? Stop it.
Is sex with your woman a gradual climb to an ejaculation followed by a loss of desire for her and a depleted mind/body?
It’s time to level up.
The superior lover disciplines his ejaculation in order to conserve the vital energy that makes it up. Masters across history have always known that when you conserve your seamen, you experience more energy, vitality, and ambition. You will live more powerfully and give the world more of what you have to offer.
Therefore, the superior man enjoys sex in such a way that he doesn’t feel the need to ejaculate. This is easier said than done because those addictions can be tough to break. But once you do break them, the genital sneeze of ejaculation will be nothing in comparison to the pleasures of true love-making.
You should come out of a sexual experience feeling joyful, energized, and more emotionally free.
Get the book in order to get more in-depth guidelines in regards to sexual practice.
#12 Your woman will shit-test you
Women will shit test you. A shit test is simply when a woman complains or acts in a way that seemingly challenges you. She may say something that may tempt you to get reactive. Women and the world of matter are similar in that way…they test you.
She will test your strength…she will test your ego…she will test your ability to be solid like a rock and to overcome your fears. She tests you because she loves you and wants you to do your best. Never take these tests too seriously…treat them like you would a regular challenge in your daily life. Simply laugh and grow in determination as you move forward on your vision which in this case should be to have an amazing relationship with your woman.
Most women lack the foresight to be able to see the big picture, the grand-vision, like a man, so consider everything she says as a signal of where she is mentally at the moment. Key-word here: signal. Don’t treat her words as immovable commandments emanating from depth. Her words are sounds at the surface of the ocean.
Humor and focus are key when it comes to moving passed shit-tests. Humor in order to approach the situation with ease and focus in order to move the interaction towards fulfilling the objective if the badass relationship you’ve envisioned.
#13 Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth
This is a very interesting concept.
What this basically means is that you must confront your suffering head-on. You must face your inner void.
Unadorned means plain, without any distraction, simple.
When you remove the spice from a situation, it is simply there unadorned.
We often spend years distracting ourselves from our own internal misery. Usually, we constantly find ways to numb the pain and distract ourselves through activities like binging on junk-food, porn, video-games, etc.
We may just think that we’re doing it for fun but in reality, we are doing it because we don’t wanna be alone with ourselves. We don’t wanna face the darkness within.
We all carry a degree of pain, fear, and insecurity. Some of us have it more than others. Silence and solitude usually bring this side of us to surface but certain activities will do the same thing.
In those moments, when you feel pain, don’t run away. Don’t distract yourself. This is an opportunity.
Breathe deep and experience it fully. Become aware of how it feels. Face it plainly and simply. Unadorned.
Learn how to deal with pain skillfully instead of running away from it.
Once you can deal with it skilfully then you could use it and transmute it into more gifts.
Consciousness that isn’t earned isn’t lasting or powerful.
If you want to move beyond your suffering, you must confront it. Embrace it. Be comfortable with it. Then you can transmute it. If you avoid it, it will govern your life in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways.
Bonus #14 Live as though your father were dead
You don’t need to live out your father’s dream for you.
Father is a metaphor for the authority figure in your life.
Nowadays, with men being so weak, the reverse is true so this insight can also be called, “Live as though your mother were dead.”
But this metaphor goes beyond parental figures and into teachers, relatives, and friends as well…
Maybe you have a friend who exudes a lot of authority and is highly charismatic…
Maybe he has a strong vision and tries sucking you into it meanwhile you feel a nagging voice deep down that tells you that you have a different vision that you must move towards. So, in essence, this lesson is all about self-ownership, it’s about enlightened selfishness. It’s about living life in accordance to your deepest vision, not anybody else’s.
And of course, it’s worth mentioning that sometimes your father, friend or another leader may very well have a vision that IS in accordance with your deepest vision. And in that case, you are to synchronize your efforts.
A superior man loves his fellow men but doesn’t live to please and pander to them…
Get your woman on the same page
Firstly, the above lessons could easily get you in trouble in today’s political/cultural climate.
They are not politically correct and they go against the narrative that men and women are exactly the same and gender is a social construct.
The above insights are not being taught and spread on a wide cultural basis. This is good in some ways as you’ll have a very powerful edge compared to other men who don’t know this stuff. However, this is bad in that your woman most likely subscribes to the horse-shit the mass-media, schools, and other sources of propaganda pump out across their platforms.
This is why I advocate for you to install these ideas into your woman’s mind. You can do this covertly and overtly. I like to mix the two.
You may think it’s best to keep this stuff for yourself so that your woman doesn’t understand the game fully. And I agree that you may not want to divulge every trick up your sleeve. But, you should make it clear that there are certain fundamentals that you would like your woman to be on board with if she is to engage in a relationship with you.
That’s why I say, talk about this stuff with her. Get her to see your vision. Guide her towards the light. Don’t let these purple haired losers at Gawker, Buzzfeed, her half-witted slut friends, and other sources of feminist propaganda she’s heard in school or college, dictate what she knows about relationships.
As a man, you are meant to guide the relationship. You’re meant to lead. Take ownership, my man.
The Way of the Superior Man [girl’s version]
Back when I had a girlfriend (one of my first GFs), I gifted her the girl’s version of the way of the superior man titled “It’s a Guy Thing: An Owner’s Manual for Women.”
David Deida doesn’t only write for men. He also writes for women as well.
It’s A Guy Thing answers many questions about a man’s behavior that many women don’t understand.
Once she goes through that book, she will be armed with powerful tools that will allow her to understand you even when you can’t seemingly explain. This will greatly enhance polarity, remove some feminist propaganda/conditioning, and result in more polarity and harmony between you two.
My relationship with my woman had definitely improved after she read this book.
Closing thoughts and a critique on David Deida
David Deida has been and will continue to inspire me through his work but I do have some critiques. Although his writing is ballsy and challenges the modern cultural narrative, I feel like sometimes he holds himself back.
I’ve watched some of his recent videos on Youtube and heard him say some things that vibed too closely to the feminist bullshit that I’ve been hearing from other sources.
In essence, my soul critique is that he can sometimes be a bit blue-pill and isn’t red-pill enough. And when I say red-pill, I mean that he doesn’t disclose the hardcore truths between the sexes. He sort of beats around the bush and tries to please the masters.
P.s. Would like to make progress on your journey to self-mastery? Check out the Spartan Ownership shop here for badass products and training courses that will accelerate your growth. Also, if you would like more personalized help, book a coaching session with me here.