If you are a highly unconscious person then don’t get married to a highly unconscious person because your lack of self-awareness will amplify your darkness as well as the darkness of the person you marry.
I believe that this is the foundation of bad marriages.
Socrates would often say that he had a bad wife but she was good practice for philosophy.
You can use any kind of relationship as practice for mastering philosophy.
This does not mean you should voluntarily stay in negative relationships.
It is up to you to figure out your boundaries and at what point it is worth leaving the person(s) for good or greatly reducing the time you spend with them.
Mini-prayer:
“God give me the strength to forgive the unconscious behavior in others.”
This doesn’t mean to turn the other cheek and become a doormat.
What this means is to observe and accept other people’s behavior without trying to confront them about it which almost never works.
Most people are too set in their ways and unconscious to change.
Very few will change if you confront them.
The sad thing is that parents are special…
They are the ones who take care of you and bring you into this world. It is unfortunate that parent-child relationships can be so broken.
If you are a son of a broken home like I am, I invite you to forgive the unconsciousness of your parents.
This capacity to forgive requires mental clarity, will, and higher vision.
Don’t become reactive to your parents because that doesn’t serve anyone.
If you value your parents and want to have a relationship with them then you need to make progress on mastering the art of persuasion and human nature.
You need to be able to use your parents as a way to practice your ability to stay calm and cool under pressure.
You need to spend time observing what truly makes them tick.
Once you understand their models of the world, you can use that knowledge to figure out how to subtly influence them towards the light.
The light may be towards a more positive attitude, healthier habits, more warmth, etc.
“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” – Ram Das
The relationships we are in are part of a web or network that we navigate in order to thrive as a species.
This human web is filled with infinite complexities that you can manipulate and modify in order to create amazing results such as powerful and loving relationships.
The point is to not throw away relationships just because you’re too sensitive or lazy to heal them.
I believe that there is always a way…
It is up to you to be resourceful and figure it out.
Don’t be a cry-baby, be a leader. Lead your valued relationships to the light. Don’t just watch them fail. Don’t just “enjoy the decline”. And at the very least stay cheerful and don’t add to the darkness. And learn what not to do.
Best,
Maximillian Giamarco
I come from a broken family as well.
I keep it simple with all people in my life.
Philosophy, history, politics, sports & art are too deep for almost all people.
The superficial conversations make me avoid everyone nowadays. I am tired of it.
If I talk with people nowadays they either have shown interest in those topics and are passionate about them or I talk to people to satisfy my need for socializing.
Sounds hardcore, but I had enough of people in general and focus on my goals hardcore.
I rarely visit my family.
That is sad I know, but the superficial conversations are not something I miss.
Cheers