How to Be Graceful Under Pressure & Live the Life of Your Dreams

My outcome in this article is to help you stay truly relaxed throughout the day so that you can be more effective in every aspect of life.
In all activities of life, the secret of efficiency lies in an ability to combine two seemingly incompatible states: a state of maximum activity and a state of maximum relaxation. – Aldous Huxley
This entire article can be summed up in the quote above. However, you’re probably going to want more detail on why this is so.

Strain Brains

Strained Brain

Do or don’t, there is NO try. I am going to give you an analogy that will directly apply to every aspect of life:
Studies have shown that most people tense up unnecessary muscle groups when doing everyday movements.
For example: When opening the fridge, the only muscles that need to be tensed up are the ones that contribute to opening the fridge. But most people engage completely unrelated muscle groups because they carry a lot of tension and do NOT consciously release it.
When you’re sitting or walking, notice what muscles you tense up. Chances are your neck, shoulders and/or arms might all be unnecessarily tense. Begin to notice this tension as you perform ordinary tasks throughout the day. You will be amazed at how much tension you carry with you.
Mental and emotional tension is more subtle but also very important to master. Mental and emotional tension can manifest as guilt, anxiety, fear, and other thoughts/emotions. It can also manifest as limiting beliefs/stories that you tell yourself about the moment. Most people get caught up in these tension points which also limits their potential to function at high-levels.
The problem with all of this unnecessary tension is that it wastes a lot of energy and leaves you feeling uneasy, anxious, and depleted. Therefore it decreases your ability to access your potential and function at peak-performance.

Be like Vodka

I really meant to say “be like water” but figured that the phrase was too cliché. But that is what I meant and Bruce-Lee was wise as hell when he said it. This is his exact quote:
It’s easy to ignore the above quote and treat it as “Kung-Fu mumbo jumbo”.
However, I’ll tell you right now that based on my own personal experience, this quote has within it a very powerful lesson when it comes to approaching daily life.
Based on my current understanding, what Bruce-Lee, Aldous Huxley, and other amazing mentors are all saying is that you must learn how to always be relaxed and master your energy and focus.
When you’re like water, it means that you are completely relaxed. There is no strain or tension. You are just a mass of unlimited potential.
Then Bruce Lee mentioned putting water into a teapot and becoming the teapot. What this means is that you choose a goal/direction for the energy to flow and then instead of straining, you simply move towards it using the perfect amount of energy/ability and accomplish it.
This applies to drinking a cup of water, picking up a girl, or building a multi-million dollar business. Stay relaxed, no need to strain, identify the target/goal and move towards it relaxed yet energized.
Sounds simple right? It is. But as many simple things, it’s not easy.
Just because you’re flowing and not straining, doesn’t mean you’re not putting in effort when needed. This also doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes or fall. But learn how to do all of that gracefully. Brush yourself off, get back up, and keep moving forward.
Eventually you will get to a point where you feel like you are water but this takes practice and refinement.

Practicing the art of surfing

Surf through life: Credits to Juley Macey on Unsplash.

I believe that for this practice to be done correctly, you must dis-identify from your thoughts, emotions and body. You must see yourself as boundless energy, potential, and space. Scientifically we are 99.9999% space and within that space we have almost infinite energy.

The reason I believe it’s important to dis-identify from all the clutter is so that you can get comfortable with the idea of letting go more. Being overly identified with the monkey-mind and the tension in the body makes it easy to get emotionally/energetically attached to it which facilitates a tense relationship. However, when you just see yourself as boundless energy and potential, you’re more grounded and at ease with yourself. This is a slightly more right-brained way of explaining the ideas above. You could still achieve this state without dis-identifying but I just think it’s easier that way.

How to surf

The reason I call it surfing is that once you achieve this state, you literally feel weightless and shapeless…like water.

The Zen Master D.T Suzuki said that “Enlightenment is like everyday consciousness but two inches above the ground”.

If you put this practice into action, you will be more aligned with an enlightened state of consciousness for sure. But it literally feels that way. You need to experience it to truly understand.

Here are some ways to practice surfing AKA flowing at peak-performance levels.


Breathing exercises



Proper use of the rational Mind


I’m not going to go into detail as to how the above practices do all of this because I’m saving that for another article. But the point is that all of the above practices remove physical, mental, and emotional tension and free you so that you can be in this state. Simple.

When you combine breathing and intention, you’ve unlocked a real creative force. – Dan Brulé

Surfing the 4 Pillars of Life

Health: Working out, fighting, doing yoga, eating healthy, walking through the street, sitting, etc.

Wealth: Doing business, learning new skills, working at your computer, making deals, doing sales, etc. 

Relationships: Seducing, having sex, drinking a beer with friends, having a family dinner, having a conversation with someone, etc. 

Happiness: Meditating, staring into the sunset, feeling grateful, engaging in passion hobbies, etc. 

The reason I wrote the above 4 Pillars of Life and common activities associated with them is simply so you can see how being in a state of intense relaxation and energy can be applied to every single one of those activities. I didn’t even think about it when I wrote it down. There’s literally not one situation where being in this type of state wouldn’t be beneficial. When would being tense, unfocused, and depleted of energy be useful? Dead maybe…

Closing thoughts

I believe that this must be your new way of being at all times and one of the most important things to keep in the forefront of your mind. Kiss your fears, stay relaxed, and stay present and full of energy. Breathe deep. Loosen your body and tense it when need be. Be water.

Stay enlightened,

Maximillian Giamarco

– The judo concept of non-resistance.
The main point of these concepts:
– Sports
– Relationships
– Work
Benefits of staying relaxed:
Exercises to be more relaxed:
My experience:
Closing thoughts:


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Maximillian Giamarco

Entrepreneur, coach, and author. Spartan Ownership is centered on providing groundbreaking content, products, and services tailored to improving men's lives. Main areas of focus include masculine lifestyle design, character development, self-discipline, MMA, women, mind and body optimization, and more!

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