My outcome with this article is to address a phenomenon I call K-Factor and I believe it to be a sneaky and dangerous enemy to men seeking self-mastery. This phenomenon is very subtle. More specifically, it’s a feeling. It occurs when your self-discipline is on point and you’re holding the line. This feeling comes and goes.
What is it?
Bear with me because this feeling is very subtle and complex…
Basically, it’s a sort of self-pity and loneliness at the same time. I think it’s even more subtle than that. But the way I just described it is as close as I can pinpoint it right now.
One thing I do know is that if you don’t deal with this feeling somehow, it has the capacity to derail your focus and therefore knock you off your path.
This feeling is very sneaky. The way it attacks you is through stealth-combat. It comes in and next thing you know you’ve got a full-scale attack. It likes using the Trojan Horse strategy.
The reason I chose the name K-Factor is that K stands for “kid”.
Why do I call this feeling the “Kid-Factor”.
I believe that this feeling is a sort of emotional residue from childhood.
Let me start by saying the following:
The path of:
Self-Discipline…Self-Mastery…Enlightenment…Professional Mastery…Wealth & Abundance…World-Class Physical Health…A Strong & Powerful Tribe…An Amazing Love & Sex Life…Leaving A Legacy…And Being A Man & Warrior…
IS NOT FUCKING EASY.
It just isn’t.
As my man Jocko Willink says:
“The shortcut is a lie.
The hack doesn’t get you there.
There is no easy way.
There is only discipline.”
When you’re being disciplined and you suddenly start to feel K-Factor, all of a sudden you start feeling self-pity and loneliness which makes your resolve weaken.
K-Factor usually comes in when you’ve been on the path and disciplined for a while. It’s the feeling that says “enough”. It’s the feeling that seduces you away from the path promising it will only be for a second and then it double-crosses you and leaves you for dead.
It will leave you in a hole that you will have to climb out of while cursing, swearing and wondering; “how the hell did I get tricked again?”
Some men don’t experience K-Factor as badly as others. This depends on a few things. For example, some lucky men had strong and masculine fathers who taught them self-control from an early age. Other not-so-lucky men were raised on a diet of BS in the form of crappy parenting (usually no father or a weak one), BS social-conditioning, and a culture based on mediocrity, entertainment, and instant-gratification.
Essentially, K-Factor is a call to regress back to your inner-bitch. Notice that I didn’t say “inner-child” because that is a part of yourself worth nurturing and it represents a part of the psyche that is associated with playfulness and innocence which we are NOT talking about here.
K-Factor is weakness and K-Factor is the ENEMY.
K-Factor is what all rights of passage throughout history had their sights on destroying when they put boys through pressure in order to forge them into men.
K-Factor is seductive because it calls you back to being a little boy where all that mattered was your sense of pleasure. When you were a little boy, chances are that everything was taken care of by mommy and daddy (or just mommy for a lot of you). You had no responsibilities and your main focus entailed goofing off with your little kid buddies and stealing cookies from the cookie-jar.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with giving kids some time to grow and taking care of their responsibilities for a while but a “kid-ult” is a disgusting and pitiable creature.
As my man Jerzy Gregorek says; “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.”
So the problem is that this tendency to regress back into childhood is strong especially when you’ve been on the path for a while and are feeling the pressure. Remember this path ain’t easy. Taking Spartan Ownership ain’t fucking easy.
You must stay focused and completely crush this tendency. You must annihilate K-Factor from your internal world and you must replace it with being a man. In essence, man the fuck up.
Kill the bitch within and replace it with a hardened warrior. Only then will you be free and not be a slave to weakness and reactivity.
The opposite of destroying K-Factor is living a life of mediocrity and reaction in all areas of life. Your only focus will be on comfort and entertainment. You will live a horrible and reactive life and nobody will be able to rely on you. You will be a man with no brothers and no lovers as both demands a strong man. The only people you will attract will be of similar virtue meaning none and you will be forever banished to the cast of useless moochers.
Warning: If you’re feeling lonely all the time then it may not necessarily be K-Factor. You may need to invest a bit more time in building a social-circle of good friends and/or women. You may also be struggling and feeling self-pity because you need to rest and recover. Listen to your body and learn the difference between a K-Factor attack and a legitimate need to address recovery or social issues. There’s no shame in that as long as it’s done right.
Destroy weakness. Align yourself with your true purpose and Tao.
P.s. To advance yourself on the journey of self-mastery, check out some of the high-performance gear available at the store or book a coaching call with me in order to get some more hands-on instruction for your specific situation.