With this article my outcome is to help guys that struggle with communication. This is for the quiet guys out that have trouble commanding attention and getting their point across effectively. My intention is to help you master communication so that you can navigate this world more powerfully.
The words just won’t come out right
For a long time, I was a pretty “soft-spoken” guy. I always felt like others weren’t listening to me or understanding me. It’s as if people didn’t take me seriously.
My dad would often tell me to “stop mumbling” or to stop using certain slang terms that me seem like a ghetto simpleton.
It’s safe to say that growing up in a shoddy neighborhood in Queens, New York resulted in a lot of bad habits.
I have done quite some work on my communication skills and the world has never been the same since.
How being soft spoken can back-fire
Mention how it makes a man look when he’s quiet
Mention that habit’s impact on seduction/women
Mention that habit’s impact on other men
Mention that habit’s impact on business situations especially ones that require leadership.
When you’re too quiet and don’t communicate powerfully with those around you, you will start to notice consequences. You probably already have.
For example, other men will not take you very seriously. You will most likely take a back-seat in social situations as other more powerful communicators lead and establish boundaries.
The other issue with being an overly quiet and soft-spoken guy is that women will tend to select louder and more dominant men over you.
Just think about it. Put yourself in the shoes of a girl. Now imagine she has 2 choices. Choice number one is you. You are quiet, soft-spoken, struggle to get your point across, speak in a monotone voice and people have trouble hearing you. But you’re a really “nice guy”.
Choice number two is a man who is loud, eloquent, and effortlessly gets his point across while commanding attention and respect with his voice.
What choice do you think a girl with some standards would choose?
Mastering your voice: key distinctions
According to voice expert Ehud Segev (author of Secrets of the Voice), there are 5 components to keep in mind when it comes to your voice: pitch, tone, volume, pace, and rhythm.
Pitch: How is your tonality? Is it monotone? Hint: If people say that you sound like a robot then you have a monotone voice. Monotone people do NOT command attention. They put people to sleep. Learn how to fluctuate between high, medium, and low tones. Learn to emphasize certain words for better delivery.
“We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Nietzsche was right. The content of what you’re saying is important but your tonality or the WAY you say it is equally as if not more important. People are very reactive to your tonality.
Volume: Make sure that you are speaking from YO CHEST SON! Have you ever yelled before? Where does the deepest part of your voice resonate from? If you pay attention then you’ll notice that the deepest part of your voice resonates from deep within your balls and your chest.
Speak from deep inside, don’t keep everything locked in your throat.
Pace: The pace of your voice is the speed with which you speak. It’s the difference between talking so fast that it makes you look frantic and unsettled VS speaking so slow that focusing on your message is tough and puts your listeners to sleep.
Rhythm: Have you ever heard a melodic voice? We naturally gravitate towards voices that have a rhythmic component because it makes a voice sound more interesting and well delivered.
And I want to add ONE more:
Eloquence: How well do you enunciate the words coming out of your mouth? Are you mumbling?
Do you talk like this guy? (watch video)
ENUNCIATE. Learn how to say the whole damn word.
Some thoughts on putting the above into practice
Watch videos by master speakers. Read books out loud and enunciate every word carefully. Emphasize certain words as you read in order to convey the meaning more skillfully.
Annihilating self-consciousness & speaking effortlessly
Are you overly self-conscious of everything you’re saying? Do you find yourself caught up in how others will react?
Constant self-awareness in reference to others will put you in a reactive pattern and turn you into a stuttering MESS.
The following practice takes BALLS and may result in some slight consequences but the price is worth it.
Practice speaking before you think
By being overly critical of yourself in the presence of others, you hamper your ability to perform at peak levels in all areas of your life.
It’s liking trying to bang a girl while she makes fun of your boner. Chances are that the castle will fall.
In order to break the habit of being too self-conscious and then getting all stuttery, just practice being loud, brash, and saying whatever the fuck you feel without concern.
Don’t worry about the consequences too much. Obviously there are limits to this practice but you MUST move towards that direction.
Eventually, your unconscious mind will start to understand how much is too much and it will rebalance itself but first you gotta be willing to potentially make some mistakes with this practice.
There are obviously limits to this practice. You don’t want to just yell out “Your ass is juicy!!!” in front of the whole classroom as your sexy english teacher turns around.
This goes for all areas of life. If you’re too nice then practice being a disagreeable asshole for a little bit. Practice being overly assertive even when you’re not sure if you should be. Tell someone to “fuck off”.
Eventually after a while of being in the “red zone” you will start to rebalance and now you will have so much more power!!!
The rewards you shall reap by mastering your voice
The benefits of having a strong voice and being a more powerful communicator are too many to count but the main ones include that women will begin to take your lead. Your fellow men will begin to respect what you have to say more. In business situations or situations that require leadership/negotiation, you will be among the more respected and influential communicators.
Hone your weapon. Communication can move mountains. Speech is one of the biggest ways that humans communicate with one another so learn to truly hone that skill because if you don’t then you’ll leave one of your most powerful swords blunt and useless. Self-mastery is the goal. Take nothing for granted. Lead, conquer, and love.