I fucked up.
Recently, I created the Spartan 365 Challenge.
I was doing pretty well for about 2 weeks.
Around the 12th day, I made a very impulsive decision. I decided to quit my job and join the military.
I was in a positive yet highly impulsive state when I made the decision. I’ve been craving an experience that would challenge me and aid in my development as a warrior and man.
I spoke to a recruiter and decided that I wanted to become an Airborn Ranger which is a highly trained elite soldier not too far off from being in the Special Forces. The reason I didn’t immediately choose Special Forces is that SF requires a much longer time commitment. For me, I just wanted to get the military out of my system so I could move on with my life and NOT wonder “what if?”
Anyways, I ended up going back on my decision and called the recruiter and told him to count me out.
The main reason was that I have very little trust in our government. This isn’t good because if I’m going to be making the ultimate sacrifice then I want to know that it’s for a higher cause. I highly doubt that the wars and causes that our government is putting forth these days are ones that are truly noble.
I know of many veterans who share the same point of view.
After I decided to join and backed out, I went through some pretty strong emotional turmoil for about 3 days.
I felt confused and unclear about my purpose.
I felt unmotivated.
I fell hard…
I proceeded to spend 3 days engaging in complete and utter self-sabotage.
I laid around in my own misery and did everything I could to numb myself shy of hard drugs.
I used porn, binged on junk-food, and other bad habits.
I felt ashamed and kept going down the downward spiral more and more.
It was past the point of no return.
At this rate, I would have gone completely broke if I paid for each consequence with the initial Spartan 365 consequence fee of $100-$300 depending on the mistake.
I felt miserable and ashamed of myself.
But this morning, I finally got myself out of my rut.
However, I made a few changes to Spartan 365. I made it more sustainable for the coming year.
One thing I realized is that celibacy is a fucking stupid idea.
I don’t even know why I initially agreed to do it.
It’s just torture for a year.
As a man, women are important to me and contribute to the quality of my life and living without them for a year at the vital age of 22 is pure and stupid torture.
I made a few other changes as well so that the challenge doesn’t leave me as an isolated hermit. This is a year-long challenge and I want it to be a bit more flexible.
The New Challenge Template
Click here to see the old challenge template.